2009 will go down as the Civil War year of my own personal history book. Abolishing slavery (in the mental/metaphysical BobMarleyesque way), sharpening weapons,shedding blood and conquering fear all in my own backyard. I began looking at myself with acceptance, the good parts and even the really ugly stuff (there is plenty of both).
I started the year off a total mess. I actually slept thru New Years Eve, secretly hoping that when I woke it would be 2012 and the world was ending without much effort on my part. For my golden birthday I partied it up in Vegas with amazing friends who don’t mind staying in the bathroom when you’re puking your guts up and crying in the bathtub (never again, promise- love you ladies).
I started dancing again. I was able to share my love of dancing with some of the most beautiful, caring and extraordinary people I have ever encountered. I witnessed two weddings and a birth. I watched the moon move across the sky and light up the ocean while drinking wine with friends. I laughed. I cradled my children in my arms as they slept. I flirted. I flirted with young men, old men, beautiful women and the girl next door. I made new friends and reconnected with old ones.
I faced cancer and I won. I got into graduate school. I went to my 10 yr high school reunion. I drove cross country in four days. I saw Graceland. I cried myself to sleep. I felt my heart break for the first time in my 28+ years and I never felt more alive.
I redefined love in my own terms. There is no reason to believe that loving someone means that they are indefinitely yours. I don’t know if you choose who you love or not but you can choose what you do about it. When given a choice I choose love. Always love.
As a control freak and recovering perfectionist/extremist I am trying to achieve balance in my life. Never has a year been so challenging and so rewarding. I look forward to the new year and whatever challenges/rewards might come my way.
Namaste
